Malta — 29 November 2010
Can’t watch porn in Malta

This one is just too good to pass up. It’s short and sweet, and so completely pointless.

The Mayor of Paola, Dominic Grima, has sued Louiselle Vassallo, an editor of NET TV after a news report last Tuesday claimed that he was a member of a porn site.

The extremely succint story on the Times can be seen here: http://bit.ly/fNqB0J. I pity the poor guy, who will now have to go to talk about his lack of porn watching habits (or lack thereof) in court, while in session. That must be embarrassing for anyone.

Of course, I, the defender of the mighty porn industry behemoth, have one question.

My question, basically, is “So what?”

Ok, so let’s for a minute put our heads back up our asses and assume that not all men watch or have watched porn at times in their lives. Which is a lie anyway. But let’s assume so. Let’s assume that only 50% of men watch porn, how’s that? Sound reasonable enough to you, my sensitive friends?

There is a 50% chance he's not watching Net TV

How does watching porn in any way reflect the man’s ability to do a good job as mayor? And if 50% of all men watched porn, then you could be fairly certain that half our teachers, bus drivers, politicians, policemen and priests do the same. But we don’t make that assumption, in fact, for our own sanity’s sake, we simply don’t think about this subject. If I had to think of every second man I see doing his monkey business, I’d never leave the house!

Oh yes, indeed, release me now! Or something to that effect.

And furthermore, what business is it of anyone’s what the man does in the privacy of his own home?

Think of it differently. If the man was a hunter, which some mayors are, would we say that they are liable to be horrendous mayors, because they’re bound to get their six-shooter out in the middle of a Local Council meeting and shoot at an osprey through a window? No, you wouldn’t, would you? And if you did, that would be defamatory and generally fucked up, no?

So why bring the matter of shooting off another load entirely into the public sphere? Seriously, that stuff is no one’s business. He hasn’t abused anyone has he? He hasn’t consistently moved people around so as to avoid their eventual prosecution, like some do? He hasn’t hampered police investigations into abuse? In fact, it’s not abuse, it’s just a little porn!

And, by the way, how exactly did you come to possess this information? Did you get it from his credit card bill? Or install a cookie or key logging software on his computer? Ooh, filthy, sneaky you! Spank spank!

So here I am, me, an avowed unbeliever, teaching you Religion 101, no scratch that, let’s call it Humanity 1.0. Remember this?

“Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.”

 

 

 

I shouldn’t have to remind you of that myself, but there you go. Now go fly a kite in traffic, and leave people alone. Don’t judge people by your own yardstick, a great motto, and incidentally one which also comes in handy in porn.

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About Author

My name is Mark and I'm a hyperactive child of the internet, a professional copywriter based in Malta, a great fan of entropy and a Grammar Nazi. I'm online for far more hours than is healthy. This blog is about stuff that interests or irritates me. Contact me here

(11) Readers Comments

  1. Any legals out here? In such a case, does the burden of proof lie with the the accuser or the accused? In other words, does the mayor have to “talk about his lack of porn watching habits” before a court, or does the journalist have to present the smoking gun?

    • Burden of proof is always on the alleging party. Always. Onus probandi incumbit ei qui agit etc

      That’ll be €30 ;)

      • True, but then we all know that outside of the law courts, if you throw enough shit at a wall, some shit is going to stick.

  2. Pingback: Tweets that mention Can’t watch porn in Malta -- Topsy.com

  3. nice one mark!

  4. “He hasn’t consistently moved people around so as to avoid their eventual prosecution, like some do?”

    …well said.

  5. It might be illegal to watch porn in this country. What’s nice is that it is not illegal to work with or for porn companies here though. I know what I’m saying. Did it for 3 years and had to watch all the glorious filth while remotely fixing porn streaming servers and such :) Way to go Malta.

  6. This country just keeps spiralling into a god forsaken abyss.

  7. Here’s something that might be relevant to this topic:
    http://www.topix.com/forum/world/malta/TC9HTAK8LTTEGG630

  8. And so they’ve risen since last year’s assessment:

    http://carlamaree.com/blog/what-the-maltese-people-are-up-to-on-the-web/

  9. Pingback: 7 Reasons I hate Festas | MarkBiwwa

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