Malta Science and Religion — 28 February 2011
Anonymous letter to Mr X and Ms Y

I’ve been asked why I feel so strongly about the supposed moral/religious pressure groups in Malta on many occasions, and more often than not, my answer is that I do because they simply don’t know when to let it go, nor where the line is. In fact, it seems to me that a lot of these groups actively look for the line and then cross it, probably under direct instructions from Jesus too.

Just yesterday, I was stopped at the door of my own house by two members of the Neocatechumenal Way, who asked if I minded if they came in and spoke to me. I said no, upon which they said “We’re not from Jehovah’s Witnesses.” as if in protest. The brazen arrogance of thinking they had any more right into my abode than Jehovah’s witensses, Zen Buddhists or bloody Rastafarians simply choked me. I just turned and walked.

I don’t go door to door, trying to force people into a discussion of the finer points of Richard Dawkins’ The God Delusion or Hitchens’ God is Not Great, partly because I can’t afford to, and mostly because I possess basic decency.

This is no one off occurrence. A few weeks ago, for example, we were treated to the spectacle of the anti-divorce group in Malta spamming educators with requests to forward their details on to the group so they join ‘the good fight’. That was irritating, and it did get me hot and bothered, but it’s nothing compared to the anonymous letter a friend of mine received in the mail recently. I’ve asked around about these letters, and I say letters because I know for a fact that at least 4 different couples from far flung corners of the island have received the exact same thing.

I should also explain that my friend is a married man who lives with his wife, of course, and she kept her maiden surname, so on the letterbox of their lovely apartment is says Mr X and Ms Y. This is how they shall be referred from here onwards. Enjoy the letter in its full, albeit translated into English glory below. If you want to read the whole thing in Maltese just view it in the gallery below the English version.

Dear X & Y


I would like you to read this message which I’d like to bring to you.

X & Y, in the last few days, I’ve been out looking for a vacant flat and when I got to XXX street close to XYZ locality, my eyes inadvertently fell upon the letter boxes. On one of them I saw that X and Y were written; two different surnames in a single residence. X & Y, I do not wish to know anything about you, but if I may, I would like to pose a question to you, which you can answer for yourselves.

Do you not agree with me, that if you are living together without having God’s blessing in the sacrament of marriage, you are not acting righteously? X & Y, I would like you to think about what I am writing, so that if you are doing anything that is harmful to the soul you rectify it.

X & Y, Jesus once appeared to a certain Saint Margherita Alacque, and he told her such, while showing her His heart: “This is the Heart that has loved humanity, and has received nothing but ingratitude, show me that you love me.”

X & Y, God is Love and Mercy. X & Y, Christ suffered and died so that we live. X & Y, in the Gospel according to Matthew, Chapter XXV, verse 13, Jesus spoke in this manner about death: “Therefore stay alert, because you do not know the day or the hour” X& Y, if not for the love of God, for the fact that your souls will perish if something is amiss.

In his first Letter to the Corinthians, Chapter II, Saint Paul wrote the following regarding heaven: “Things which an eye didn’t see, and an ear didn’t hear, which didn’t enter into the heart of man,these God has prepared for those who love him.”

X & Y, Saint Paul in his letter to the Philippians, Chapter III, verse 8, wrote so: “I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ.”

When Jesus was on this earth, he often spoke of hell. X & Y, in the Gospel according to Matthew, Chapter XXII, verse 13, Jesus said of hell: “…into outer darkness, there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

X & Y, in Our Lady’s appearances to the three children of Fatima, Our Lady showed them hell! X & Y, Jesus came unto this earth to save us!




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Perhaps you too have received a similar piece of junk mail that condemned you to everlasting hellfire and damnation with little more than an afterthought. If you have, maybe you want to let us know in the comments. But maybe you’re too hurt and offended by the letter. All I can do is console you; you’re most probably a good person, you do right by your wife and kids/gay partner/flatmate/uncle with a different surname. The same can’t be said of some busybody who’s too busy trying to dictate how others should live their lives, instead of leaving well enough alone.

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About Author

My name is Mark and I'm a hyperactive child of the internet, a professional copywriter based in Malta, a great fan of entropy and a Grammar Nazi. I'm online for far more hours than is healthy. This blog is about stuff that interests or irritates me. Contact me here

(24) Readers Comments

  1. Tal-wahx!!

  2. Got hold of it finally. The Anonymous letter of the Biblical Douche.

  3. Is the term “religious harassment” used? I think it should be.

    This also reminds me of the serious psychological child abuse towards children of Jehovah Witnesses in my schooldays, which hasn’t completely gone. Today we just have a worse religion than those vile tal-Gehowva poisoning you kids minds for money -- Muslims

  4. I would let Rastafarians in only if they bring gifts…

  5. Woopsies! It’s a good thing our names aren’t on our letterbox, oh and that we’ve left the country!

    Funnily enough, when we did have a Jehovah’s witness come aknocking, she left quietly as soon as we said were not interested

  6. It’s scary to know that some people waste so much time in such matters.

  7. Why doesn’t this surprise me. I was subjected to all kinds of verbal abuse from one of them when I got married simply because I am agnostic and refused to be reeled in on discussions of god. Someone said that this is religious harassment. While you are right, the obligation fir the Church to teach its discipline is a constitutional right in Malta and the letter is probably legal! Sad

  8. i’m speechless.

  9. I almost vomited

  10. Arrogant twits!

  11. I had the pleasure of hearing this piece of art being read by Mr. X in person a couple of months ago. I assure the readers it was a spectacle because of the articulation / pronounciation of the blurred words. A good read, and good that it is now online. I hope that the author will, one day, attend a local council course on how to use a computer, so he / she will come across it and feel the utter FAIL!

  12. Those kind of people just dont know how to handle those situations. they just jump to conclusions and then this kind of thing happens.

  13. I really, REALLY wish this is a sick joke! I pity such brain lacking…. bags of flesh…

  14. Unbelievable! Kulhadd jindahal fejn ma jesghux.

  15. OMG! is this person still at it. This is what I had to say to whoever wrote this and cowardly chose to leave it in my letter box signing ‘god bless’ ! AHHGGRRRR….

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  17. i just received this letter myself

  18. Wow, I’m feeling left out now -- I still haven’t received one of these!

    By the way here’s my most recent post on the latest antics of those lovable rogues, the catholic church:

  19. These people need to be sent to “the everlasting hellfire and damnation” who the hell do they think they are! Tal-Wahx ta vera, a recent experience of mine showed me what a true evil hidden in angel clothes this country is. I am still shocked! L-aqwa li we go to mass every Sunday, these people don’t realise that this is in the bible: “Ħobb lil għajrek bħalek innifsek” (Mt 22, 39)1. Who’s the real catholic here?

    Well done Mark, i like to read your blog :)

  20. a friend of mine’s name is also a surname, he lives on his own and he put his full name and surname on his door bell, he also got the same letter in st venera

  21. My husband and i have receive the same letter and i was obviously shocked!! I think those kind of people should seek for some help as they need it more than others..they are mentally unstable..Instead of teaching others lessons, they should maybe go confess themselves as they are the one sinning! Same on them..

  22. How dare they say “we’re not of the Jehovah’s Witnesses” …that is simply an ignorant way of introducing one self.. but anyway’s it funny reading this junk letter.. its even funnier knowing how many people live off other’s people’s life’s instead of living their own.. !! hah!

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