I can tell when a person is going to become notorious or well known in Malta by the sheer amount of messages which Facebook gives me, all saying “What’s His Face and 3 other friends are now friends with Whoever This May Be“. I’ve seen it for JPO, for Deborah Schembri and countless others, and now, for Cyrus Engerer.

To be honest, I feel the pressure to click the little ‘Add Friend’ button. However, I countered this with a few reasons why not, apart from the fact that it’s both pathetic and lame. Here they are, my 5 Reasons why I won’t ‘friend’ Cyrus Engerer on Facebook.

1: I don’t know him

No, I don’t know Cyrus at all, never met him, never bought him a drink and I don’t think I’ve ever even seen him in the flesh. So why would I befriend him on Facebook? Just to see that his favorite athlete is Lucas Podolski and that he likes the X Factor? Why I think not.

2: I might get arrested

 Cyrus is bad news right now, poor guy. Whether this is self inflicted or not remains to be seen, but I think being friends with Cyrus is fraught with danger. Then again, I don’t watch porn, nor have I ever glanced at GQ or Playboy in the many book shops around. Never I tell you, never.

3: He has friends

Cyrus’ Facebook page has 5,905 likes. and his profile has 1739 friends. This is not a lonely man. Something tells me he’s not missing out by not having me on his friend list.

4: He’s a politician

I have no doubt that Cyrus is an all-round nice guy with sincerely good intent. That said, he’s a politician, and the way I see it, the only politicians I should have on my Facebook friend list are politicians I personally know. So refer to point 1. Also, he’s a politician. And while politics is not inherently evil, and it was only given a bad name by bad politicians, and although Engerer does not seem to be a bad politician as such, just a bit of butterfly fluttering from flower to flower, you can never be too sure.

5: He’s not Snoop

While I don’t know whether Cyrus ever walked through Malta International Airport without a shirt on, I do know that his father was arrested for possession of marijuana. Snoop would never stand for that. I’m pretty certain that if Snoop’s old man was busted with herb, the Doggfather would instantly disown him, claiming him a bad seed, which can ultimately be used to rhyme with weed. Then he’d jet over to Malta to sing songs of liberation, laden with messages against the consumeristic world we live in. Or maybe not.