How is it that every time I do laundry that socks go missing? Thankfully my partner makes an effort to wear clean socks everyday (some may say I have trained him well). This means that every time I do laundry between the two us the load is quite full of socks.

Doing the laundry is not my favourite chore ( I don’t have a favourite chore) but more importantly doing laundry in your own home washing machine is definitely not like plumbing the toilet flushing or say, rocket science. So, I’m not sure how socks can go missing when the process is so simple: laundry basket to the machine, machine to clothes line, line to drawer. Let’s be frank, it is not like these damn socks are traveling from Malta to Australia. Really where am I going wrong?

Right now I have 5 lonely pairs of socks sitting on the chair. All looking extremely sad and lonely. So, I have come to two main conclusions:

• My washing machine eats them and keeps them in a ‘secret washing machine sock purgatory’
• The new German tenant in flat one has a sock fetish and is stealing them when they accidentally drop down into his yard from my extendable clothes hanger.

All you sinners pray forgiveness... ROARRRR!

The irony of socks is that they do eventually show up… so in this case I’m going to go with conclusion two.

First the washing machine ‘eats them’; basically at this stage the machine selects only socks and teleports them out of my washing machine to sock purgatory. Here, the sock is judged on its quality and ‘holiness’. Then on judgement day it resurrects the socks one by one into the load. Obviously the machine waits a couple of loads before it throws its pair back in. I think what happens there is that in sock purgatory they don’t use a paperless office system, so a lot of the paperwork gets wet or something, so socks never come back at the same time.

Mmmm too bad this story wasn’t in The Bible.