Last Saturday there was the pro-Cannabis demonstration in Valletta. Judging by the newspapers’ varied or even lacking reportage, someone high up decided that this issue shouldn’t be important. However, the police were monitoring the demonstration, and MaltaToday even nabbed this picture of PC 217 (you can all see the number for yourselves, no libel here) taking note of what the banners and placards said. Now I’m not saying the police shouldn’t take note of what banners at a pro-Cannabis demo say. No, I’m just saying that there’s at least 5 other things the Police should take note of. Especially since I don’t think they were taking note of what the fishermen’s placards said today.
1: Racist comments on the Times
If there is one thing which pisses me off in this world it’s the bleeding racist comments on the Times. Here we have what is supposedly the only respectable English language newspaper in the country, and its online comment boards are being increasingly hijacked by nutjobs, wackos and racists. For example, check out these unbelievable comments about the Libya situation.
You’ve all seen the bad racist comments there, normally accompanied by some bogus statistic and apocalyptically charged prophecy. I’m just wondering why the Police don’t seem to give a shit about taking a peek in there sometime, and you know, schooling these fine, upstanding pillars of our society in the finer legal points concerning hate speech.
Case in point: This twat is not a racist, because he/she lives in Rome. Puh-lease.
2: Pastizzeria parking
You’ve all seen this shit. It seems that at any given point of the day, pastizzerias have permission to allow double, nay triple parking on the roads. It’s unfair, hazardous and fraught with danger, in that you might catch sight of one of our more generously proportioned men stuffing his piehole with dough while his pants fights a dying battle. It’s also illegal. In my limited knowledge of the highway code, nowhere do I find a mention that you’re allowed to stop your car anywhere you fucking please. And I do know that wardens are supposed to take care of traffic offences, but if we’re being honest, they don’t.
This shit is selfish. Stop it.
3: Wolf whistlers
I will readily admit that I am rarely a victim of wolf whistles. The intended victim of the wolf whistle is normally a female specimen of our race, and the bearer of such gifts is normally a disgusting looking, overweight truck driver/builder/plumber with his ass crack out. Now I’ll agree that a wolf whistle is not inherently harmful as such, but, it’s symptomatic of a society which allows such sexist behaviour without batting an eyelid, so it’s wrong. So I have a suggestion. It would be hard for most of the male members of thePolice Force to keep a straight face if they had to confront the wold whistler themselves. Let’s face it, they do think in much the same way after all.
Not pictured: A society that objectifies women
So what I’d do is set the ladies loose on them. Yeah, lady policemen, in plain clothes. One wolf whistle to these ladies and you’ll get the misogynistic shit beaten out of you with a baton. I’m joking, maybe not for a whistle you wouldn’t do that, but you try yelling “Aw sex” or play grab ass and you’ll be eating soup through broken teeth for a month.
4: People who litter
One thing I learnt from my many years of attempting to drill the English language into foreign students’ heads is that Malta is the dirtiest place anyone has ever seen. This might be a slight exaggeration, but given we don’t have the historical and societal problems of India, and nor do we have year long garbage strikes as Naples does, then there is no reason for this rocky outcrop of land to be so fucking filthy. I shit you not, and many will corroborate this, ask foreigners what they think of Malta and they’ll tell you that it’s fun, friendly and filthy.
Pictured: Cunt
And let’s face it, it’s high time we start acting like we realise that this island is so small it’s more of a challenge to keep it dirty than to clean it up. I’d start with a bang, or rather a series of bangs. Take the old Daewoo police cars and put them on patrol. Anyone caught throwing shit out of their window while driving gets rear ended. Rear ended by an old Daewoo police car. I don’t know what filthy thoughts you conjured up.
5: Drunk drivers
Now we’re on the subject of cars and roads again, there is such a thing, even in this country, as drunk driving. Now I’m no fan of the draconian laws and customs some countries have adopted in this regard. Still, when you consider the amount of accidents we have per annum, how many kilometres of road we have and how few people are tested by breathalyzer, you’ll realise that there’s a serious shortcoming here.
Now the picture above does not actually suggest that we beat the crap out of every drunk driver we catch, break his kneecaps as they did in Ireland and make them wheelchair bound for the rest of their lives. What I’m suggesting is that for every drunk driver they catch, the police are given an exciting assignment. This will consist of taking the drunken sod home and letting him/her sleep for exactly 35 minutes. Then they bang on the door, wake him/her up, force them into a wheelchair (handcuffs and shackles optional) and follow them around for a month, making sure that not for one single minute do they leave the ‘safety and comfort’ of the wheelchair. Going to work, going to the bathroom, everything the drunk driver does for a month has to be done in that wheelchair. You might say that this is a waste of police time, but I tell you, if someone is put through a month in a wheelchair as a warning for driving drunk and they still go out and do it again, then they deserve a visit from the ladies’ baton squad.
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Have you got any other ideas of things the Police should be taking note of? I have more, oh so many more. For example, which houses the sounds of verbal and domestic abuse come from, or which Paceville clubs get most complaints of aggressive bouncers and racist attacks. I would go on forever, but now it’s up to you. Leave a comment below with your ideas.
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5 Reasons why the Malta to Gozo tunnel proposal is bullshit
You know what is silly? YOU are silly!The Maltese are silly! You think
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Rajtha tard vera imma prosit! Tal-genn int! :) Alavolja mhux dejjem na
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Then you just have to live with it and that's it. Or as suggested befo
5 Reasons why the Malta to Gozo tunnel proposal is bullshit
'if you have a problem living in gozo, then don’t live in gozo' Tha
5 Reasons why the Malta to Gozo tunnel proposal is bullshit
Matthew, it's not the ferry taking 2 hours to cross. Don't be silly. N
Puka
How about certain bars in certain villages where hard drugs are sold at all times of the day and night?
These notorious bars have all night parties with the doors closed in residential areas and everyone knows what’s going on, but nothing is done.
In the morning, the residents have the added bonus of finding used syringes in their gutters up an down the whole street. The police station in the village I’m talking about is not five minutes by car.
To protect and serve my arse.
Mark
They don’t have to protect and serve because that’s not their motto. Their motto is ‘Domine Dirige Nos’. Which sucks really, because I know the commissioner is not god.
jason
Aw Biwwa! As a recent immigrant to Calgary, Canada, I am able to make a bit of a comparison between Malta and a city that’s supposedly a ‘hick town’.
Point #1: Racism
The Maltese have seldom been welcoming to newcomers living on the island.. it has a lot to do with being a closed community and viewing the newcomers as intruders moving to the island, taking their jobs and occupying their schools. Using their health care system, owning property… being completely oblivious to the fact that these people are paying their tax contributions and earning the same substandard paycheck that everyone on the island gets. On the other hand, the maltese will kiss the ass of any tourist/foreigner that will be spending their hard earned cash in a manner that is beneficial to them. With regards to illegal immigrants, it is more the government’s fault for carrying the costs related to illegal immigrants over on to the tax payer, a tax payer that is already heavily overloaded. This causes disdain rather than compassion, thus the accumulated hatred and racism from a people that have spent most of human history colonized by forces greater than them. Comparing Malta to Calgary, this city and infact, the whole country, has been built on the backbones of immigrants. Their contributions have made this country what it is today, and surprise surprise….. probably 6 out of 10th people are from the east.
Point #2
jason
Point #2. Parking in general
This is something that has greatly improved in Malta but still has room for improvement. I bet that no one remembers how people used to double park the whole length of the road alongside villa Rosa in st.George’s bay on the weekends creating a 1.5 lane road and leaving the cars parked there in that manner all night long (the 4am curfew hadn’t been implemented yet and people used to stay out to 10-11am). The lack of consideration is something that can be remedied easily with higher fines. In Calgary, if you are wrongly parked, they will tow your vehicle within a mattewr of minutes.. it costs an average of $300 to release your car from the impound and $85 for the parking ticket. If you don’t have the cash, its not a prob.. your car will go up for auction within 90days to recoup the costs. If you overstay at metered parking you’ll receive a $50 ticket by mail within 3days which doubles if not paid. With these measures in place you very rarely see anyone parked badly.. we’re surrounded by stupid drivers but at least they all park right.
Point #3: Wolf Whistles…
What can I say… oceans apart but pigs are pigs… the only difference being that if a complaint is received over here you’ll end up locked up for 48hrs and slapped with a lawsuit and registered as a possible sex offender… need I say more? Most comments and whistles are taken with a pinch of salt but can end up costing a helluva lot if the wrong person is approached… oh and I’ve never heard anyone yell out ‘aw SEX!!’ Over here…..
Point #4 littering
This is something I’ve never understood about Malta.. how can a small island be so filthy? Why would people who are supposedly proud of their country and heritage damage it irreparably by throwing trash in fields and on beaches, in the sea, streets, piazzas… and I say its irreparable because the habit is handed down generation to generation.. no one leads by example. It’s all a lack of education, disciplinary action and pride. Calgary houses close to 1.5 million people.. you don’t find trash on the ground, even in the lower income areas where it is expected. Apart from the fact that you’ll be fined or jailed for the act, people have a sense of responsibility to the environment.
Point #5: Drunk driving
Its simple… drunk driving maims and kills… it can change your life forever. I work in the medical rehab equipment industry and I see it all the time… 18 guy/girl coming in to be fitted for a wheelchair… they weren’t the drunk driver, that was their buddy who got off without a scratch. I have a client who was walking home one early evening and was hit @ 80kph by a drunk driver.. it was a hit and run.. he was left for dead in the ditch and found by a search party when he didn’t return home. Needless to say, his life has changed forever.. 120,000 people visit Paceville over the weekend… let’s say 100,000 have a drink (we’re maltese.. we know everyone of those people had at least 3) … half of that had 3 drinks @ 50,000 and 1/4 of that are driving… that’s 12,500 drivers on the road every weekend who are over the legal limit… I’ve been conservative with the figures as I’m sure you’ll agree… how many get pulled over for a breathalizer test? Nada…. what are the penalties?? I actually spoke to a cop about this ‘what do you do when someone in an accident is clearly drunk?’ The answer… nothing…. cuz if the accident was their fault their auto insurance is null and void and the other party wing be covered for their repairs… so they turn a blind eye… back to Calgary, if a peace officer so much as smells cough medicine on your breath, you are taken in for a blood test, your vehicle towed and your license suspended until you are cleared.. if you are found guilty of DUI your license is suspended for 2 years and good luck to you finding insurance when you do get it back… if you get it back…….
Anyway, that’s my blurb for the day… I would love to see some off these measures implemented in Malta… when you make someone accountable for their actions you see a different attitude taken on almost instantly… accountability… its one of the prime rules of management.. now its uptown our leaders to actually manage… that a story for another day….
Mark
Wow man that’s one thorough comment! Thanks for that pretty much all encompassing analysis!